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Henry Miller · Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 9:32 pm Post subject: Love and Romance

I think I'm in love with this girl that I go to school with. The problem is she doesnt even know that I have the slightest crush on her. I just ache everytime I look at her. I'm way too afraid to tell her any of this. I want to have her so bad. I really do.

In this thread we seriously discuss our love lives. Seek advice and comfort from peers in this thread.

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Gem · Moderator Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 24 Location: London

I had the same problem when i was in school. I was totally crazy about this guy and to use your expression wanted to have him real bad. But I was too nervous and scared to tell him. So I went through my entire school time watching and wanting him. When it came time to leave school, I found out that he liked me to. Problem was, by that time my personal circumstance had changed and due to family reasons etc, i could no longer confess my feelings to him.
One of my biggest regrets in life is that i didn't tell him when i was free and had the chance to be with him. Most likely it wouldn't have lasted long term but at least i wouldn't have this 'what if..' feeling. The day i silently let him walk away was horribly sad and i wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I don't know your circumstances so i don't want to give any concrete advice, but i will say that if we don't take the risk and declare our feelings then those feelings tend to haunt us forever.
Ask yourself this - How are you going to feel if you have to watch her walk away from your life forever without knowing how much you care for her?

Guest · Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 6:36 am Post subject:

When I was younger, I was in love with the idea of being in love(make sense?) I'd buy the roses, dress up, and really put on the charm for what I thought would be the person that I would eventually marry. Now all of these girls weren't "the one" for me and I guess that's where I'm coming from Henry. Unless you confront the person with your feelings for them, is it truly love? Where do you draw the line between love and infatuation? To me, it sounds like the latter if you are admiring from afar and don't feel compelled to talk to the person. Now I'm no Dr. Love(great KISS song though ;) ) so take from my comments what you will, perhaps it is love!.

Best of luck to you. :)

SFG75 · Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 6:37 am Post subject:

Sorry, the "guest" post was mine. :oops:

scruffy_danny · Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 3:35 pm Post subject:

Though I may be too young to have a real valid response I really do think that if you were in love you would just be able to walk right over to her and talk to her. I know how it feels and it is scary. But these things happen.
I once had a crush on a girl a few years back and on valentines day i thought "What the hell! Im just gonna do it!" so i bought a rose and card, wrote a poem and actually walked up to her in the middle of class and actually gave it to her. She was so flattered she had to leave the room, but man did people look at me with disbelief. It takes a lot of balls to do that. I remember shaking.
She said "no" but what the hell. It was worth it. Like what Gem said, its worth knowing the answer. Its better than thinking what if.
Now, looking back, I have no idea how I was so attracted to her. She doesn't mean a thing to me now. But if anything it was worth it just even to prove you can do it.
So, do it. Buy her a rose, write a poem. GO ON!!!

NOW!!!
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And I walked alone, And I did not mind...

Henry Miller · Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:27 pm Post subject:

I definitely want to tell her, I'm just a really shy person. I really appreciate all this advice, thanks guys.
_________________
Go read a book.

SFG75 · Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 6:59 pm Post subject:

Nighthawk · Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 8:33 pm Post subject:

Hi Henry, sorry to be so late in putting my pennies worth here -
just noticed the thread *roll eyes* You didn't say if you talk to her
or not - whether you are already friends. Scruffy_danny has a point
swallow hard and go for it! A single rose and /or a poem is so romantic
- it would certainly work for me..

If you know her tastes in poetry, books, art, etc., maybe you could
take an interest in that too. If you can keep Sitaram occupied in
lengthy conversations I am sure you will be able to do the same with
her. Share her intereests, get her interested in you. Start up a forum
and ask her to join Smile

Good luck!

Rachel · Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:53 am Post subject:

Henry,
until you actually engage the girl in conversation, get to know her, go under the veneer, you don't love her, you have a fantasy of love for her.
believe me the reality is usually quite depressing. It is like looking through a gorgeous faerie story book of the princess and her prince and then having someone with a voice like fingers scraping over a blackboard read it to you. yuk.
many of us if the truth be told love the illusion better than the reality, it is where we are in charge, in control and we can make all the lovely things and conversations we want to happen happen.
i had this enormous heart throbbing crush on a boy for four years. and he obviously had one on me the same. he was a couple of years older and he even was so bold as to ride his motorcycle to the top of a hill just a little in front of my house and look down on me when i sat to dinner with my extremely annoyed family.
the truth is though we had more fun just thinking about one another and keeping that mystery than actually being with one another and seeing the faults and the traits that would kill the dream. i still think of him and when i do i am lost in a once upon a time . it makes me smile.
if you ache for her be a man and at least smile at her and ask her how she is and well do something, anything. just thinking about it obviously for you isn't gratifying as it was for me. get out there and shake up her world.
i am pulling for you.

rachel.

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The universe belongs to one who can look at the world as 'once upon a time' rachel

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