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Sitaram · Site Admin Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 1079

I have a very close internet friend, a young woman medical student in
Tehran, who speaks with me at length, at times on a daily basis, at other
times on a weekly basis, for several years now. She and I have spoken at
some length about child marriage. She often encounters women who are
married by the age of 13 or 14.

It was some years ago that I first read, in a New Yorker Magazine article,
that the age for marriage under the Shah in Iran had been fifteen, but
after the Revolution, under Khomeini, the marriage age had been lowered
to age nine. Upon reading that, I went into a state of shock and disbelief.
I began taking notice of those girls around me, age nine, and trying to
imagine the practicality of one of them, physiologically, assuming a
conjugal role.

I asked my medical student friend, as well as an engineer in Tehran, if
they were ever aware of a nine year old bride. I was informed that one
might find such a young bride only among nomadic tribes who are remote
from large cities, but that yes, such child marriages take place.

I am aware of the reasoning behind the setting of the marriage age to
nine. It is my understanding that the Prophet contracted a marriage with
his youngest wife when she was age six, and consummated the marriage
at age nine. There is supposedly some mention in Hadith about his wife
still playing with dolls at that time.

Some of you might enjoy reading Gandhi's autobiography, in which he
describes his own marriage to Kasturbai when they were both age six,
and the consummation of his marriage when the were age twelve. It
should be noted that towards the end of the 19th century, child marriages
were outlawed in India. In one passage, Gandhi mentions that child
marriage is a monstrous practice, and in another passage he relates how,
at age twelve when his family instructed them to cohabit, he felt suddenly
cast upon an ocean of bliss.

When I watched the very long DVD movie of Gandhi's life, I noticed that
the above mentioned facts had been altered so as not to scandalize or
confuse the viewing audience. In the movie, Gandhi mentions that he was
married to his wife at age twelve. The actuall wedding ceremony was at
age six. Kasturbai was the third wife that his parents had engaged for
him. Two other other marriage contracts had been arranged, but those
two betrothed girls died before a wedding could take place. In the 19th
century, child mortality in India was very high.

You might also enjoy reading a short story by Rabindranath Tagore
entitled "The Girl Between", which is about a child marriage, and also a
polygynous plural marriage.

Time permitting, I will post in my blog in greater detail on these topics,
rather than make this comment overly lengthy.

I will close by mentioning an old Greek saying that "a marriage is the
beginning of either heaven or hell." There are no easy formulas for either
a happy marriage or a happy life. There have been child marriages
which have happy endings, and there have been plural marriages which
have happy endings. And of course, there have been such marriages
which are unhappy.

The personal happiness or misery of one individual's life is not a good
measuring stick of ethics, obviously.

I shall perhaps continue these thoughts in my blog later, when time
permits.

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