Sitaram
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Why does he commit suicideliterarydiscussions: that is just the way it is
aiden_dream: what did you study?you didnt go to
university?
literarydiscussions: well.... i took liberal arts... and
philosophy... and got a bachelors... it was all that
interested me.. and
literarydiscussions: and i have learning disabilities
that prevent me from performing on traditional exams
aiden_dream: what is liberla arts?
literarydiscussions: but... the studies i took depended
upon essay writing, which i am good at, and oral
examinations
aiden_dream: what you mean by learning disabilities?
literarydiscussions: but most education here, for high
paying things, depends on written exams
literarydiscussions: i just cant study a big book
quickly and then answer all kinds of multiple choice
questions and score high.... like SAT GRE...
aiden_dream: oh all of our medical exams are multiple
choice in a very limited time
literarydiscussions: hey, dont make me feel bad for my
shortcomings.... as if i dont feel bad enough every day
of my life
aiden_dream:
aiden_dream: no its interesting for me....
aiden_dream: I dont mean to upset you
literarydiscussions: no one in medical school with a
high aptitude could possibly understand what is like not
to be gifted and quick minded
aiden_dream: you are so talented I think
literarydiscussions: there are different kinds of
talents and skills,... a general is one... a politician
another, a poet another.... a wrestler or martial arts
is another...
aiden_dream: true
aiden_dream: so you have a bachelor on philosophy?
literarydiscussions: believe me, i spent years trying to
accomplish something in formal education beyond
college... before i realized that it would never work
out
literarydiscussions: something like that
aiden_dream: strange really
literarydiscussions: some people cant even get through
highschool....
aiden_dream: and you could remmeber all those things you
have studied and read
literarydiscussions: some people can get through school
but cannot hold any kind of job
aiden_dream: I know but you!!
literarydiscussions: well... hold on... you are making
some incorrect assumptions
aiden_dream: I am not making any assumption
aiden_dream:
literarydiscussions: i can speak for hours about various
things... but they are things that come easily to my
mind
literarydiscussions: sure you are...
aiden_dream: I mean how they come easily to your mind?
literarydiscussions: you presume that because i am
knowledgable and fluent in certain things... that i
could become knowledgable and fluent in other things
aiden_dream: its so unbelievable
literarydiscussions: i will give you an example... my
first wife had a computer mind for store discount
coupons.... i cannot even do simple arithmetic without
a calculator....
aiden_dream: oh concordia is your second wife?
literarydiscussions: she could have 1000 coupons in a
box... and in her mind know which three stores to visit
which 100 items to buy, which 30 coupons to use
literarydiscussions: yes... 2nd wife
aiden_dream: wow she was interesting
literarydiscussions: and then, she would know which
coupons were expired... and she could look at 10
cashiers... and pick the dumbest...
aiden_dream: haha
aiden_dream: yes I know what you mean
aiden_dream: for example I had always problem with math
aiden_dream: I could give A+ always but
aiden_dream: it made me tremble each time I has math
exam
aiden_dream: had]
aiden_dream: I think I couldnt continue if I was
studying engineering or what instead
aiden_dream: you are gone again?
literarydiscussions: phone
aiden_dream:
literarydiscussions: back now
aiden_dream: welcome
aiden_dream: its so interesting you studied philosophy
not everybody could study that
literarydiscussions: well... but you see... i could not
pass the exams necessary to get a phd... which would
allow me to teach... and there are many unemployed
people with phd in philos..
aiden_dream: yes
literarydiscussions: and even if you do land a teaching
job.... then... there is a lot of miserable politics...
plus,... the students are a sorry lot, or apathetic
literarydiscussions: so it is not like you would be in
some intellectual paradise
aiden_dream: why not?
literarydiscussions: duh..... because..... the
bureaucratic nonsense of academia...
literarydiscussions: asar nafisi speaks of this
aiden_dream:
aiden_dream: yes
aiden_dream: I know what it means
aiden_dream: they kill your motivation and enthusiasm
aiden_dream: if I didnt love my major this much I would
have left it by now
literarydiscussions: yes
aiden_dream: and even now I am so tired with it
aiden_dream: no motivation
aiden_dream: my dad also studied philo
aiden_dream: but he didnt continue ..just took his BA
literarydiscussions: well... you see...
literarydiscussions: because i am on my own... writing
... reading
literarydiscussions: i do not have to please anyone...
aiden_dream: because there are differences between your
interests and the real thing
literarydiscussions: but... if i were part of
academia...
aiden_dream: yes I know
literarydiscussions: i would have to be policitally
correct... so i could not have written what I wrote
aiden_dream: true
literarydiscussions: that is why university presses
(like yale history) churn out so many boring books
aiden_dream:
literarydiscussions: publish or perish.... (but publish
nothing controversial)
aiden_dream: yes haha
literarydiscussions: scholars can be grinds.... like an
organ grinder making music for his dancing monkey....
grinding out boring useless things
aiden_dream:
aiden_dream: that is right
aiden_dream: I went to literature faculty ....there are
sessions there
aiden_dream: about reading and writing philo ..yesterday
was its firsnt session
literarydiscussions: in the early 90s i was invited to
the home of yale linguistics professor, to welcome an
author from Israel...
literarydiscussions: and they were intellectually such a
sorry lot
aiden_dream: and those studnets talked about the books
they liked or were difficult to them or the first book
whichy impressed them ..and I envied them
aiden_dream: yes
aiden_dream: but I am sure they cant read plato with the
love and eagerness I read him
aiden_dream: because I do it only because I love ...but
they have to!
literarydiscussions: they are not all dreadful... there
are some true talents and brilliant minds... but they
are a minority
aiden_dream: true
aiden_dream: but I think I prefer their atmosphere to
medical faculty...
aiden_dream: I feel so sad because of this
atmosphere...feel so lonely
literarydiscussions: but, on the other hand.... it is
gratifying to help sick people....
aiden_dream: yes but they dont tryt to improve their
minds much
literarydiscussions: philos. and literature are
fascinating... but do not help the world in the same way
that medical science helps
aiden_dream: I think they help more
literarydiscussions: i do what i do because it is all I
can do...
literarydiscussions: i cannot be a doctor or a nurse
aiden_dream: I wish I could write instead
literarydiscussions: the grass is always greener on the
other side of the fense
literarydiscussions: fence
aiden_dream:
aiden_dream: oh well a human soul is more important
aiden_dream: than his body
literarydiscussions: look at salinger, who wrote catcher
in the rye, which inspired someone to assassinate john
lennon
literarydiscussions: now, salinger could not foresee
this result
aiden_dream: how ?
aiden_dream: who was john lennon?
literarydiscussions: the killer became obsessed with the
novel..
literarydiscussions: one of the Beatles, the singers
from 1960
literarydiscussions: 1963
literarydiscussions: Paul McCartney, Ringo, Jon Lennon
aiden_dream: but salinger....if you understand
him..helps you to love!!!
aiden_dream: feel love in every aspect of it...
literarydiscussions: the killer was so obsessed with
lennon that he married a japanese girl, because lennon
married yoko ono
aiden_dream: the catcher in the rye ...
literarydiscussions: yes... but salinger himself is the
rottenest bastard you could ever imagine on the face of
the earth
literarydiscussions: to his children, to his lover
aiden_dream: the boy loved ...he seemed to hate
everything..but he had this precious soul
literarydiscussions: he has lived his whole life since
1955 as a recluse
aiden_dream: yes I was discussing this with my dad today
aiden_dream: that people perhaps are different from
their works
literarydiscussions: look at the bravery of hemingways
old man and the sea,... yet hemingway committed suicide
at age 62 i think, because he could not face old age
aiden_dream: I mean they might have great works
..art..writings...music...
aiden_dream: yes but that doesnt reduce the value of his
works
literarydiscussions: quite true
aiden_dream: also salinger.....
literarydiscussions: but theer is an irony
aiden_dream: he brings life and love
aiden_dream: I dont think the guy understood the catcher
in the rye
aiden_dream: you see at last the boy realized how he
loved everybody ,..even things which made him crazy
literarydiscussions: interesting
aiden_dream: like his friend with his what you say those
red spots in the face?
aiden_dream: I forgot the term
aiden_dream:
aiden_dream: acne!!
aiden_dream: hqha
literarydiscussions: pimples, acne
aiden_dream: yes
literarydiscussions: eczema
aiden_dream: it was interesting ..he even loved his
friends acnes
literarydiscussions: is another word i think
aiden_dream: eczema is different
literarydiscussions: well... look at the very end of
Camus, the Stranger
literarydiscussions: the man is in his cell, awaiting
execution...
aiden_dream: I havent read that...just read his la
chute(the fall)
literarydiscussions: and he begins to appreciate
everything,...even the jeering crowd he anticipates at
his execution
aiden_dream:
literarydiscussions: L'Etrange
literarydiscussions: something like that
aiden_dream: but camus write very differently...
aiden_dream: you know when I read his ..la chute
aiden_dream: I was scared of myself for 3 weeks
literarydiscussions: well, you should be, i find you
very scarry...
literarydiscussions: (just kidding)
aiden_dream:
literarydiscussions: the scarry ladybug from hell
literarydiscussions: who devours Tehran
aiden_dream: haha
literarydiscussions: a new sci-fi thriller
aiden_dream: am don juan in hell
aiden_dream: you read the play?
literarydiscussions: only fragments
aiden_dream: by my beloved shaw
aiden_dream: anyway ..I mean people interpret things
differently
literarydiscussions: true
aiden_dream: someone kills another after reading the
catcher
aiden_dream: and someone starts loving life
literarydiscussions: well, you know, when i was 15, they
required us to read catcher in the rye...
aiden_dream: yes
literarydiscussions: that was 1965 or so
literarydiscussions: and it only came out a few years
earlier
aiden_dream: I was -14 them
aiden_dream: then
aiden_dream: wow
aiden_dream: how you felt reading it?
aiden_dream: again phone"
aiden_dream: ?
literarydiscussions: nice
aiden_dream: nice?
literarydiscussions: yes
aiden_dream:
aiden_dream: I remember when I read franny and zooey
aiden_dream: I was totally relieved after
aiden_dream: like enlight,emt
aiden_dream: ment
aiden_dream: occured to me
aiden_dream: or what ....you wrote about bannafish
literarydiscussions: yes
aiden_dream: it was wonderful what you wrote..but not
complete
literarydiscussions: i dont have so much time
aiden_dream: you know ...its about suicide ,,,but why
did he commited suicide?
literarydiscussions: so... i write what i can
aiden_dream:
aiden_dream: I know
literarydiscussions: and then, students come with other
questions..
literarydiscussions: so i try to help them...
aiden_dream:
literarydiscussions: good question... why suicide
literarydiscussions: i think the secret lies in the
title
aiden_dream: you felt the bif vallay between seymour and
his wife?
literarydiscussions: PERFECT day for bananafish
aiden_dream: yes he was too perfect
literarydiscussions: the bananafish is us...
aiden_dream: I mean he had enough bannanas in life
literarydiscussions: the banana hole is time, and our
limitless desires...
aiden_dream: and he could take anymore
literarydiscussions: the cure for the disease is the
cessation of desire...
aiden_dream: perhaos thats a way to look at it
literarydiscussions: so... in an odd way.... if y ou can
kill yourself at some peak moment... when you are
young.... when everything is before you
literarydiscussions: then... somehow you cheat nature...
literarydiscussions: you escape the bananahole
literarydiscussions: you see,... the bananafish gets
CAUGHT...
literarydiscussions: because he takes so many banannas
that HE CANNOT LET GO
literarydiscussions: like the monkey caught in the trap,
who will not let go of the fruit, to pull out his hand
literarydiscussions: now.... it is not made absolutely
clear that he is NOT on a honeymoon
literarydiscussions: the wife /bride is reading a book
about sex, which might be hell...
literarydiscussions: i forget how he puts it in the
story
literarydiscussions: well, if it is his honeymoon...
literarydiscussions: then... it really makes the story
interesting...
literarydiscussions: AND, if that were to be the
honeymoon night, and he commits suicide without
consummating the marriage, then it is even more
interesting...
literarydiscussions: now... he already has the pistol
concealed in his luggage...
literarydiscussions: which suggests premeditation
literarydiscussions: that he planned it
literarydiscussions: the pistol is described very
precisely, its style, make, model, etc
literarydiscussions: now... the little girl is the only
one who seems human, real, ... innocent...
literarydiscussions: perhaps the child is the only one
who cares for seymore as himself, and not as something
which he might represent
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