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Sitaram · Site Admin Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 1079

(9-24-99)

(a young man posted on the now closed mangalore.com message
board):

Kanekodi

What is next?

Fri Sep 24 06:18:19 1999

I married a beautiful girl two year back. Somehow I could not live with
her and just divorced. I do not have any child. What should I do further.
How to live my remaining life? Please suggest me.

Love,

Kanekodi

Here is my response:

My sympathy goes out to you concerning your sorrow. Many people look
for happiness and meaning outside of themselves, in a spouse, a child, a
parent, a job, friends, material possessions, food, drink, amusements.

The religious answer is that we are always desiring things because we feel
an emptiness within, somehow incomplete. We think that if we can only
marry a certain person, buy a certain fancy car, earn a special academic
degree, that THEN we shall finally be happy and fulfilled. But our
emptiness stems from a dim memory deep within us that we were once a
part of God, and now we suffer from SEPARATION. So we have a hunger
which can never be filled; a thirst which can never be quenched.

Even Jesus said to the Samaritan woman at the well, "If you drink the
water in this well, you shall thirst again in a little while, but I can give you
LIVING WATERS, which, once you drink, you shall never thirst again." (I
am paraphrasing again, but this is the essence of what was said.)

Perhaps the first step to happiness and peace is to recognize the futility of
seeking them outside ourselves.

We all know examples of very wealthy, famous, powerful people who
become so unhappy as to take their own lives in suicide. This is a lesson
to us that the their fame and wealth did not help alleviate the pain of their
own existence.

We also know examples of people who managed to find peace in
happiness and meaning even in the poorest and most oppressive
circumstances, even in places such as a Jewish Concentration camp in
Germany. You might like to read Viktor Frrankl's book "Mans Search for
Meaning". He is a medical doctor who survived a German concentration
camp in WWII.

As for your life, simply meet new people, nice decent people, and try to
be their friends. You will see that, if you are patient, an appropriate
spouse and life partner will be provided for you. Sometimes happiness
comes when we are not expecting it or looking for it.

It is ironic that the other day, I was reading something about peace and
happiness which quoted Gandhi as saying, "Peace must be found in
turmoil, not in tranquility. What value to me is someone who tells me to
find peace in a tranquil situation. OF COURSE THERE IS PEACE IN PEACE,
but what good is that to me. Peace is only of value to me if I can find it in
the midst of turmoil, discord, strife, adversity." I suppose one might say
the same of Holiness or Sanctity. Of course there is Holiness in the Holy,
but it is more profitable to find Holiness in the midst of evil and
wickedness, for it is when you are in the midst of wickedness that holiness
is most needful.

This post seems sufficiently long for now, though I feel I could say more. I
will think about these things, and your situation, and as more occurs to
me, I will add additional posts to this one.

Hope these words help you a little.

An additional question:

Kanekodi

Re: Strive to find happiness and meaning within yourself

Fri Sep 24 08:26:25 1999

Thank you Sitaramji for your kind advice. Is there any solution in Islam
for my problem?

Love,

Kanekodi

My response:

Certainly, if you read this message board regularly, you know my position
on Islam, which leads me to suspect that perhaps you are baiting me for
your own amusement, to see my reaction.

Nevertheless, I will answer your question honestly. Any individual who is
able to achieve in their life, in their heart, a deep and abiding faith and
belief and confidence IN ANY RELIGION, be it Islam, Christianity, Saivite,
Vaishnav, Jain, Sikh, Buddhist, Sufi or Zoroastrian; THAT person will
experience great comfort and peace and their hearts will always be filled
with hope.

Such Faith is a gift from God to a particular individual. We cannot choose
or will to have such faith, saying "Aha! Today I will take steps to become
a person of deep faith!". No, it is a gift which is given only to those who
are ripe for it, who have matured from past experiences.

Nor can one truly CHOOSE a religion or belief. This again is something
which depends on the indivdual's character and nature, conditioned by
past experiences in this life, or in previous births.

This is why it is a futile and ignorant effort that many religions undertake
to "convert the whole world" to some "one true faith".

For those familiar with Hindu scriptures, I will point out that the wicked
King Ravanna of Lanka, enemy to the Lord Ram, Avatar of Lord Vishnu;
Ravanna also had a religion, and it was from this religion that Ravanna
drew his strength to be an adversary of the Lord.

If we turn our attention to Jesus and His temptation in the desert, we
notice that even Satan seems to have had religion, since Satan quotes
chapter and verse from the scriptures several times, and asks Jesus to
bow down and worship him. Even the demons in the possessed man, in a
sense "prayed" to Jesus, in that they requested him to send them into the
herd of swine, and their prayers were answered!

So, you see, even the wicked have a religion. Even devils and demons
have a religion.

Even superstitious people, such as some professional baseball players,
have a religion, in the sense that their ritualistic gestures, such as
touching the brim of their cap so many times "for luck"; its a form of
OFFERING or POOJA, and in return they hope for something AUSPICIOUS.

The true miracle of God is the Maya or Illusion of "the one true faith".
Each of us believes that we are uniquely in possesion of the truth, the
Lord's most intimate devotees, a chosen people, elect. Every pious Hasidic
Jew believes this. Every Muslim Iman is convinced of this. Hindu
Sanyassins and Roman Catholic priests and nuns feel this with the utmost
certainty. It is the protection of this Maya or Illusion of our unique,
priveliged relationship with God which gives us the strength and courage
to practice our devotions.

Perhaps the best religion is patience, persistance, reflection humility, and
surrender.

Be persistant in performing life's duties or Dharma. Be patient and dont
give up. At each moment of life, under every circumstance, continually
reflect within yourself, "Where have I come from? What am I? Who am I?
What is my ultimate purpose? What is my ultimate destination." Finally,
have the humility to recognize your own dharma and nature, and accept
it, surrender to it.

If you devoutly follow THIS religion, whose FIVE PILLARS are patience,
persistance, reflection, humility, surrender. Then all else which is
necessary for you shall be added in due time; spouse, children, friends,
outward religion, career.

Remember, if you cannot be a friend to yourself, then how can you expect
anyone else, even God, to be your friend. Even if they ARE your friends,
if you are an enemy to yourself, you will reject their friendship, or not
recognize it. If you cannot help yourself, then how any some outside
agency, any angel or prophet or incarnation help you; since even if they
ARE trying to help you, it is only through your CO-OPERATION, i.e.
helping yourself, that you will allow them to help you.

You remember in Christian scriptures the story of the Prodigal son who
asked his Father for his inheritance, and then squandered it in a foreign
land, and fell into poverty. Yet, when the Prodical son reflected within
himself that he had reached a low estate, and hit rock bottom; and then
resolved to return to his Father,.... well, you will observe that the Prodigal
son was doing everything that I am advising you hear. As the Prodigal son
approached the Fathers home, the Father saw him from a long way off,
and came out of the house and ran to meet the son. So for each step that
the Prodigal son took homwards, the Father was taking ten running
strides. But you see, it all hinged on the Prodigal sons OWN actions and
freewill choice. Once the Prodigal son INITIATES those small steps, then
the Father ADDS what is necessary, by running to meet the son.

Lord Krishna says in Chapter 9 of the Gita; "What ever My devotee lacks,
I suppliment and compliment and complete; and whatever My devotee
has achieved on their own, is preserved and conserved and in no wise
lost."

As to your specific question regarding Islam, you will notice which
religions and scriptures I have drawn my parables and examples from.

Islam teaches that Allah creates and pre-destines and fore-knows each
and every soul as a saved soul or a damned soul. Allah simply allows
them to be born into the world, so that their actions will CONFIRM their
damnation, and they will have no reason to complain that they were never
given a chance. Furthermore, the Koran explicitly states many times, that
Allah will INTENTIONALLY blind the unbeliever, and stop their ears, and
abandon them so that they may fall into even DEEPER condemnation.

Nevertheless, if it is nature to find comfort in Islamic doctrines and
practices, then that is your Dharma, and you must make the best of it.

I never tire of quoting from the Koran Surah 5, verse 48 (I believe)...
where Allah says, "IF I HAD WANTED TO, I could have created ALL
PEOPLE as one religion and nation, BUT FOR MY OWN REASONS, I chose
to create people as DIFFERENT religions and races and nations (including
Hindu). So, IF YOU MUST COMPETE WITH EACH OTHER, then compete in
doing GOOD WORKS, and when you return to Me, I shall explain to you
the REASONS for the differences between you."

Of course, I am paraphrasing that verse of the Koran from memory, and
many Orthodox Muslims will violently object that my words do not reflect
the true meaning and intent of that verse (obviously, since my version
ascribes to God a very tolerant INTERFAITH attitude). But my paraphrase
describes what I believe God would actually say, and if God's nature is
antithetical to such sentiments, then I have no interest in worshiping such
a God, not even to gain the reward of a carnal Pardise, slopping like a
swine in rivers of wine and milk and honey, nor to avoid the tortures of
hell, wheree I am "given a fresh skin" each time my skin burns away, so
that I may "taste the torment").

No thanks. No such God for me. I prefer to be in hell next to Gandhi and
Mother Theresa and Pope John Paul and the Dalai Lama, since the Koran
says that hell is especially reserved for those who do not submit to Islam.

I hope my honest answers will help you, assuming that your question is
sincere, and that you are not simply baiting me for your own amusement.

Kanekodi

Re: Is there a solution in Islam.

Fri Sep 24 10:11:42 1999 Thank you my dear Sitaramji. I was really
serious when I asked this question whether there is solution in Islam for
my present problem.

I have come across many Muslims who are dragging me saying that Islam
will solve all our problems. I have read many of your messages and
found you have done deep study in many religions including Islam. Hence
I put question to you.

I am very much grateful to you for responding me sparing your valuable
time.

Hope now I will be able to think independently and take the decision of my
future.

Thank you once again.

With Love and Respects,

Kanekodi

My response:

I am glad that your question was sincere. Forgive me for being suspicious.

Until I began to visit this message board (at the invitation of a Muslim) I
was quite unaware of how life might be in a city in India such as
Mangalore; the pressures and propaganda which Muslims aggressively
exert on their neighbors to convert. Since Muslims represent only a small
minority in India, between 10 or 20 per cent (I forget the exact figure)
you can just imagine what tremendous pressure must be exerted upon
non-Muslims in countries like Pakistan, Iran, or Saudi Arabia!

Of course, Christians also are agressive in seeking converts, but not to
the extent that Muslims are, and not with such resort to force, bribes,
threats, or violence.

Hindus (with the exception of Hare Krishnas) and Jews (with the exception
of Lubavitchers) and Buddhists (with the excption of Soka Gakkai) are
not aggressive or prosyletizing.

I am gladdened to see the Hindus on this board being so much more
vocal. Perhaps there is a reason why I have come here.

I want you to choose your religion for yourself. You will notice in my posts
that I always offer choices and varieties and never say that one path is
particularly good over another. I even have some good things, in fact
many good things, to say about the Sufi denomination of Islam.

Bear in mind that, if you do choose Orthodox Islam, I for one will not
personally condemn you. I do not believe in an eternal Hell or a powerful
Satan figure, so I certainly cannot condemn you to Hell and Torments for
your choice. I believe that God is very merciful, and give each soul as
many chances as are necessary (in the form of re-birth) until that soul
can mature and ripen and become itself Divine.

And we Hindus must bow in gratitude to our Muslim oppressors, for they
are great teachers to us and have greatly contributed to the strength and
equanimity of Sanatan Dharma. And where would Tulsidas and the
Ramacharitamanasa be without Ravanna? Where would Schindler's List be
without Hitler? What would Jesus do without Judas Iscariot? Jesus Himself
said, "It is necessary that such a one betray me, but woe to him who has
been born into this world for that task, better that he were never born". (I
am paraphrasing from my poor old memory, but I am certain that Jesus
says something like this, and these words are MOST SIGNIFICANT
regarding rebirth and the function of evil in the world.

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