literarydiscussions.myfreeforum.org

Sitaram · Site Admin Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 1079

The Necessity of Sex

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.writers.net/forum/read/1...9/41901Vf#41959

I am age 56 and writing my first (and perhaps only and last book) at

http://toosmallforsupernova.org

I grew up on a steady diet of the so-called "100 Great Books" at St.
John's, Annapolis, and then spent many years reading and writing about
books on philosophy and theology. One finds few sex scenes in such
reading.

What I have written so far in my own attempt at a book has to do with
ideas and mentions sex only in passing.

I have recently become interested in Milan Kundera, "The Art of Writing"
and also "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." I admire his philosophical
ideas, but he seems preoccupied with sex, and some of the sex seems
rather far-fetched, such as a married man whose mistress demands that
he make love to her with his forehead, and he always scrupluously bathes
himself afterwards (but he somehow totally forgets about his hair?!) so
finally after months his wife confronts him with the fact that his hair
always has a certain tell-tale odor. The whole thing seems so far-fetched
and contrived.

Also, apparently the bowler hat depicted on the cover of his "Unbearable
Lightness of Being" comes from some scene where a lady grabs her
lover's hat, holds it over her head, squats on the toilet.... (well, I wont
finish this sentence... but as soon as I post, I am going to look up this
bowler hat scene.)

Anyway, I like the idea of writing books that do not discuss sex. ON THE
OTHER HAND, another part of my writing is autobiographical. I want to try
and put down things that I actually experienced in my life, especially in
my childhood. I want to write about sexual experiences, thoughts,
feelings, fears, desires in a very candid way. It seems important to me to
do this exercise.

You may seen an example of this autobiographical writing at

http://toosmallforsupernova.org/fromtheauthor.htm

I try to write in good taste.

I realize that this thread is specifically questioning the necessity for sex
scenes in a certain genre of popular fiction intended for women readers. I
am male, but I guess I would agree that many women I have known
would prefer fiction which is romantic, and suggestive, but not explicit. But
since the topic of writing about sex is on my mind, I thought I would post.

If I do proceed to write down all of my lifetime thoughts and experiences
about sex, I would not care to be seen as a pornographer for so doing,
but I am sure there would be many people who would consider it some
kind of abnormality or obsession. Yet that part of my life has great
meaning for me. It is something that I want to better understand. I would
like to make it possible for others who come after me to understand that
there was someone who thought and felt as I did.

I suppose the keyword in all this is "ambivalence". I both want to and do
not want to write about and read about sex. I do not want to be a sexual
being, but I am a sexual being. I lot of the power and raw energy of
sexuality flows from that very abivalence. I am inexperienced and I want
to remain pure, but I am curious, and suddenly, here we are, we have
crossed a line, crossed a boundary, we have stopped the pretense, no
one can see us, no one will know if we never tell, but now, I am breaking
all the rules, I am taking courage and doing what is forbidden, naughty.

Well, I shall post now, and perhaps go off and write some more.

Get your own free IRC Chat room